I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
