I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
