OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
