hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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