Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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