I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
