Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
