There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think people are normalizing furries
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
