just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
