were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
