you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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