Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize