i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
