First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
