HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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