stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
