The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
