called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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