The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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