It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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