do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
