no, he came in my armpit
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
