I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
