I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So vagazzling was a success
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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