Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
