I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
