Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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