I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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