So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
