is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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