KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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