your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sponge bath it is.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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