Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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