Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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