It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
its liver damage thursday
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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