i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
