I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
