just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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