Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
