in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize