You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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