We won't sleep together?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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