are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize