The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
