Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
