I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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