Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
