walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
