I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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