he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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