Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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