I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
