yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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