The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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