Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
