names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
