She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
