You made me cry and you don't even care
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
