so explain again why im purple
no
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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