For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
