i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
