Its about making memories worth repressing
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
