I hate your face
I heard we made out
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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