i just wanna soil my oats bro
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
