Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
