ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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