you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
