dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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