wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
